Life Sucks

Okay, I admit it. I'm on unemployment. I live in Oregon and I'm job-seeking but times are hard for someone with skills as limited as mine, not to mention my drop-out status, and I'm losing hope.
I went to the ATM to withdraw my weekly $ and it said 'insufficient funds,' to me. I thought, 'That's not funny! I haven't even touched my funds yet. WTF?!'
I went home to check my account on-line and, guess what? The 'relia-card' web-site that assures me 5star service while I try to get back on my feet tells me that I made a $100 dollar withdrawal this afternoon at exactly the same time that I attempted to collect that money.
I have no money.
Happy mutherfuckin' Thanksgiving! Yay! Every time I need to collect money during even the meekest of holidays it seems that I'm fed another trail-mix turd to eat before I can get another inoculation of that self-sustaining American Dollar.
Job-hunting wouldn't be difficult enough without having to deal with this crap so I feel very grateful. I need to keep sharp, somehow, right?
The cherry on top would be a shot-gun blast to my face and then I could go to that ugly-suicide heaven with all of the other interesting people who suspected that this 'living on Earth' thing wasn't as hip as we've been led to believe/hope.
I can only think of the immortal words: 'Suicide is the highest form of self-criticism.'
I'm tempted... Don't worry. From all indication, my true calling is to be destitute and cold. I'll be there soon...
I can't wait to see what happens, come Christmas!